24 Hour Crisis Hotline/Listening Line | Need to talk? (401) 272-4044 or (800) 365-4044
FOR PARENTS
“Don’t Stop Believing”
Talk With Your Teen
What does your suicidal child need most? They need to feel connected and they need you to listen.
Experts at all levels agree that young peoples’ suicide attempts and associated depression are not just a harmless bid for attention. They are expressions of distress that need to be addressed. All suicidal threats or hints therefore should be taken seriously. Adults can help prevent suicide by fostering open, honest communication with teens.
- If your child trusts you enough to come to you with a problem, take time to listen immediately.
- What can’t be emphasized enough is that what a suicidal person most needs is to be listened to, not lectured or advised.
- Don’t say, “I know just what you’re going through,” or “Here’s what you have to do.”
- Instead say, “I care. Please tell me more.” “Is there something that is bothering you that you want to talk about?”
- You could also ask: “How do you feel about that?” “How did that make you feel?” “Did that hurt your feelings?” “I’d be glad to listen.”
- And then listen. Listen with all of your heart.
- What a depressed or suicidal young person most wants and needs is to feel safe with you, to know that you can be trusted, to know that you care.
LET THEM BE THEMSELVES
The immediate, highest priority is your child's life.
While we may not always agree with what they may say or do, the first step is to listen. Learn more about Listening under our About Suicide: Do You Know Someone Struggling.
Like all of us, young people want someone who will let them be themselves, someone who won’t express disapproval of anything they might say, someone who will be patient, someone who will say “I care,” and who shows it not by talking, but by listening.
Assure your chlld your love is as strong and as full as ever, and that the problem, no matter how awful it seems, can be worked out – and you are willing to help. Then seek professional assistance.
See the box below "Refer & Help your Teen".
Additional resources are listed in the Learning Library section of this website.
KNOW THE SIGNS
Does your child exhibit warning signs of suicide?
Depression can affect anyone, at any age. There are also many physical problems which may present themselves as depression. Depression is one of the most common behavioral health problems affecting nearly everyone through either personal experience or that of a loved one, family member or friend.
Depression can interfere with daily activities, and frequently causes problems with social and family relations. It causes pain and suffering not only to those who have the problem, but also to those who care about them. It’s important to learn more about depression and what to do if you see the warning signs.
It can be difficult to know the difference between having a bad day and needing to seek help. How would you know when someone you care about needs to seek help from a professional?
The first place to start is to understand the signs and symptoms. These are widely varied, and some may not apply. However, if you are noticing that someone you care about is experiencing symptoms occurring over two weeks or more (not just a day or two), and severe enough that they are causing problems in daily life, it is probably a good indication help is needed.
The gateway to help is your child’s primary care doctor coordinating care with behavioral health specialists.
NOTE BEHAVIORS
Parents and friends are urged to note the following behaviors, which suicidal people frequently exhibit.
- Talking about, writing about, hinting at or threatening suicide
- Drug abuse
- Drastic changes in personality
- Losing interest in favorite activities
- Sleeping very little or sleeping excessively
- Eating very little or eating ravenously
- Previous suicide attempts
- Giving away prized possessions
- Fatigue, lethargy or apathy
- Doing poorly in school
- Social withdrawal or isolation
- Drastic changes in appearance
- Conflicts with family, peers, boyfriends, girlfriends, school staff and significant others.
This list isn’t complete; these are just some of the more common signs. Feelings of depression and suicide are treatable, with the right help. Before young people can be guided to the professional help they need, however, we must be willing to listen to their cries for help and to respond in a caring and effective way.
REFER + HELP YOUR TEEN
Medical Emergency & Other Options
Learn more from the About Suicide section of our website.
- If anyone is in danger, please call 911 directly. Explain the situation and ask for advice. If needed, rescue will bring to nearest hospital for emergency assessment. It does not matter if you/they are insured or not.
- Walk into Hasbro Children’s Hospital for emergency assessment. The hospital can also provide guidance on follow-up care and treatment.
- Call pediatrician, family doctor, or primary care facility.
- Ask for advice - Call Kid’s Link RI (1-855-543-5465). A 24/7 partnership of Gateway Health Care, Brown University Health, Hasbro Children's Hospital and Bradley Children’s Hospital
- Tell School Personnel – Principal, Vice Principal, School Nurse, School Counselor, Student Assistance Team
- Continue to monitor child and keep family and professionals informed
Follow up care and treatment services: All care should be coordinated with pediatrician, mental health specialist, and school nurse and school guidance personnel.
MORE IMPORTANT NUMBERS AND WEBSITES
Ask for advice - Call Kid’s Link RI (1-855-543-5465).
A 24/7 partnership of Gateway Health Care, Brown University Health,
Hasbro Children's Hospital and Bradley Children’s Hospital.
Bradley Hospital (401) 434-3400
Butler Hospital (401) 455-6200
Mental Health Association of RI (401) 226-2285
Community Mental Health Center according to community: www.mhari.org
Parent Support Network of Rhode Island: Learn more.
For information by City & Town, click here.
NEED TO TALK? Call a friend at THE SAMARITANS
(401) 272-4044 OR (401) 365-4044
BULLYING
Do you think your child is being bullied?
If you realize early on that your child is being victimized, intervention can be a life-saver. With recent news stories about students who have taken their lives over being bullied, it is imperative parents possess information that provides indications of what to look for and what to do to prevent further victimization.
A bully can use different types of bullying to intimidate another person. These include physical bullying, hazing, emotional bullying, verbal bullying, and cyber bullying.
There is a possibility your child may be bullied if your child:
- Has trouble sleeping or has frequent bad dreams.
- Experiences a loss of appetite.
- Appears anxious or suffers from low self-esteem.
- Appear sad, moody, or depressed at home.
- Complains of headaches, stomachaches or other physical ailments.
- Has lost interest in school or suddenly begins doing poorly in school.
- Seems afraid of going to school, walking to and from school, riding the school bus, or taking part in organized activities with peers.
- Has unexplained cuts, scratches, or bruises.
- Returns from school with torn or missing clothing, books, belongings.
StopBullying.gov provides information from various government agencies on what bullying is, what cyberbullying is, who is at risk, and how you can prevent and respond to bullying.
Harassment, Bullying and Retaliation - U.S. resource website.
Bullying and Traumatic Stress - Bullying and harassment can be traumatic. Learn more.
RI Department of Education - Bullying and School Violence
What to do About School Bullying
There is no one-size-fits-all when it comes to bullies
Discuss ways to spot and deal with a school bully before your child becomes a bully’s target.
- Help your child establish a core group of trusted friends to help deal with a school bully.
- Boost your child’s self esteem and the ability to ignore or stand up to school bullies when excessively provoked. Be sure to warn him not to resort to tactics that will turn him into a bully, too.
- Handle the situation privately with your child’s teacher, principal and guidance counselor to devise a way to deal with the school bully. Be sure to have specific information including the dates, witnesses and the nature of the bullying so they won’t be able to dismiss the bullying as an insignificant, one-time incident.
- Work with the school’s PTA to develop an anti-bullying program to help everyone deal with a school bully.
Identify Cyber Bullying
- Monitor your child’s online activities to see if they are being contacted by any bullies outside of school. Be especially cautious of popular social-networking sites where it is easy to make contact with others.
- Monitor the cell phone activities of your child. Know who they are in contact with at all times. This includes text messages.
- Ask the educators of your child if they have noticed any instances of bullying. Often cyber-bullying is a supplement used by bullies during the after-school hours when they are not near their targets.
- Look for any change in behavior when it comes to using electronic communication devices. If your child frequently uses the computer and cell phone but suddenly stops, it may be worth looking into.
What to do About Cyber Bullying
- Have your child keep their passwords private… even from friends.
- Teach your child to never give out personal information (address, school name, schedule) online, as strangers can become cyber bullies as well.
- Have your child show you threatening messages.
- Parents need to monitor their child’s moods and behavior on and off the computer. This will give you a clue that someone is harassing them, allowing you to take proper steps.
- Do not allow kids to communicate online with people they have never met. Anyone that your child chats with or emails should be someone they know from school, church or the neighborhood.
- When cyber bullying occurs, report it to the school, Internet provider, cell phone companies and websites (all that apply). Cyber bullying often violates service terms of many websites and service providers, and so there should be a way to legally stop the harassment. You can also report online harassment to the police.
